Younger Generations Are Always Insufferable, but This One Takes the Crown

All talk and no play

“I’m really worried about the planet”, she said, before cutting out a piece of her juicy steak. “I just can’t stand how people pollute as if it were nothing”.

This chomping, bumbling fool was the latest iteration of what I call “me against Gen Z: old man screams at cloud, again”. I get it: you’ve barely got a functioning brain, you just read a half-page Taylor Swift article where she says she’s worried about the environment, and you want things to change. As in, change now.

“The world is worse than ever”, she continues, “I can’t believe previous generations did nothing to prevent this hellscape”. I look around. Ah, yes: a French bistro in Paris serving Café Crêmes and catering to their client’s every whim. What a hellscape!

This got me wondering: what did our generation accomplish? Because she’s absolutely right: apart from popularizing the internet, lifting millions out of abject poverty, creating global markets, avoiding global conflicts, building international institutions (that are far from perfect), creating all the gadgets you use… What has my generation done?

Yes, there were dumb initiatives, like holding a massive concert to “fight poverty in Africa” (Live 8) or thinking Y2K was going to destroy the banking system. But these people act like the only thing done by the previous generation was making seatbelts mandatory and banning smoking on planes, while we let racism and sexism run amok.

Nowhere is this more evident than in the environmental question, which is the crystallization of Gen Z’s hypocrisy.

“The planet!”, she screamed. “Have you seen the state of the planet?”. Now, I don’t like to be confrontational, especially with people I don’t know that well. So after this last barrage of screeches, I kindly interjected, “But you’re eating a steak. Isn’t eating meat a giant contributor to global warming?”.

“Oh”, she retorted. “I don’t eat fish. And I don’t like vegetables. I only eat meat, well done, and chicken. I’ve been like this since my childhood: just never like it, is all”.

Well, isn’t that convenient, I thought to myself. Because I know I’m a huge polluter that could do a lot to reduce my carbon footprint. But damn it: at least I’m trying. I only eat meat once a week, and I try to eat vegetarian twice a week, too. Does this imbecile think I prefer eating boiled eggs and soybean instead of fried chicken? Of course not! I’m just trying to be a little bit more coherent, a wee bit less of a problem. And what do I get for it? I get my ear chewed out by a twenty-eight-year-old who’s lecturing me on stuff I already know.

However, even though she eats meat four times a week, maybe she’s super environmental on other fronts, I thought. “Well, the biggest polluter in the world is the fashion industry. So as long as you manage your wardrobe carefully, you’re on the right track”, I said.

“Unfortunately, I’m a fashion victim”, she said coyly. “I know I could do better, but that’s my only thing. I spend all my money on clothes”. “OK”, I said, as I took this new piece of information into account. “But you’re careful of the brands you buy…?”. “Yeah, of course, I mean, sometimes”, she answered. “But mostly I buy on a whim, I can’t help myself”.

I looked down at my salad and considered dumping the bowl over her head. Last try: “Hmm. But water? You try to save water? You shower in five minutes...?”, my voice trailed off, as if my brain knew the answer already. “Hell, no. I’m a girl. I need loads of time in the bathroom. The shower is like my private spa”.

After taking all this in, I was pretty confused. Why would you spout all this nonsense about climate change and not do anything about it? If I said I was a recovering alcoholic, and then proceeded to order a glass of wine, everyone would agree my recovery was going bad or was even nonexistent. But kids nowadays have this “performative” approach to life: they think just talking about things is enough. I’m not a problem for climate change, because I published a rant on Twitter about air conditioners and pollution. Voilà ! Problem solved. Next.

Hence the question at the top of this post. I know my generation had its faults. I’m sorry we didn’t build a perfect world for you to inherit. But goddammit, we’re actually better than you on the environmental front, as many studies show. Maybe we’re not as loud about it as you guys. Maybe we should complain more. I think it’s just being coherent: making your actions match your words. I grew up in a world where we were supposed to “lead by example”, shut up and do, let your actions speak for yourself. What a sorry state of affairs we’re in, in which someone can take 45-minute long showers with hot water, buy new clothes every three months and eat steaks four times a week, yet scream in my face that the world isn’t perfect and that this is completely unjust.

I ordered my dessert to go and left.